“Wisdom guides our footsteps along the path of understanding”
© 2015 Merriam Kathaleen
“Wisdom guides our footsteps along the path of understanding”
© 2015 Merriam Kathaleen
Slow gentle-kissed Tall golden grasses idly bow to and fro To sweet desert breezes they have come to know
© 2015 Merriam Kathaleen
I dedicate this poem to my son, Mark. I thank you for all the countless hours we have spent in long discussions of how you and I wait patiently for God’s divine guidance. How we have spent time and again talking about “Man plans his way, God determines his steps” I LOVE you so very much my dear son.
As we sit in long-awaited anticipation
Surely the best virtue by far will be
patience rendered hopefully
Wait, we can hear so plainly now
That of course, clear as the bell
imagination, the answer will tell
Where has this come from?
Have we heard it before?
Will we desire it that much more?
Can it be our mind thoughtlessly
will play a trick we cannot see
For, truly if this is so
Solidly on rock-hard ground, not sand!
Firmly our feet in exaltation shall stand!
We will pronounce gladly our answer profound!
For, lo we will know
after all we have done
Triumphantly our patience has won!
©2015 Merriam Kathaleen
Here in Las Cruces the morning dawned wide and silver bright. The sun was hidden behind clouds trying to peer through. The sun’s rays instead of a golden yellow were platinum silver and were spreading this majestic hue everywhere I looked. Soon the clouds began to build dark as though sketched in charcoal. All of a sudden the sky opened up pouring out a delightful light shower of rain drops to quench the parched earth. With a week of mild to warmish temperatures here in our waterless southwest this moisture repast was gladly received by our desert landscape. The rain though gentle and not the torrential downpour that comes in the springtime did not last very long but was joyfully taken in by every bush, the dry grasses and of course the ever present weeds. When day after day of bright sunshine is what we are given here in our desert home and the dry vegetation wonders where the next drink is coming from this wonderful silver morning of rain was a welcome gift.
Today while looking out the window I saw the most joyful sight. The wind was gently blowing the fans on the ceiling of the patio roof. As one fan merrily twirled round I saw two tiny finches sitting and catching a ride on the fan’s blades. The desert wind was first blowing from the east lazily turning the fan in one direction. Then the wind blew from the southwest and the fan turned in the reverse direction.
I sat in my chair, eyes glued to the view I saw through the kitchen windows. The finches sat perched on the blades enjoying their ride. I swear I could see them smiling. Well, at the very least I’m sure I saw a twinkle in their eyes.
The little birds sat there not wanting to leave. These finches looked so relaxed as they rode around. I knew I had to get up from my chair and attend to some chores but, instead I also sat there not wanting to leave this sight I was privileged to be a part of. I decided that I would sit there in pure joy, let the chores wait, and feel the happiness these two little birds were sharing with me.
The reason I write a Blog may not be the standard of why other writers write a Blog. I have been writing for most of my life. Most of my writings have ended up on scrap paper, napkins, post-it-notes and lined paper notebooks. I pretty much was just writing for myself and these forms seemed OK to me. Then, in early 2000 I joined a poetry writing group. Because of this I finally started to use the word processor program of my computer which gave me a digital record of my writings. I no longer needed to keep loose papers with my words scrawled all over them. I was thrilled, I was able to keep files of my writings without the actual physical files cluttering up my home office. Plus, I could easily print out any of my writings and doubly plus (and most important to me) my writings were safely ensconced in these digital records inside my computer.
OR SO I THOUGHT! All of a sudden, out of the blue, one day the worst thing that can happen to a computer happened to my laptop. IT CRASHED!!!!!. Yep, completely gave up the ghost and died. I was now without my “trusty companion” (I can’t tell you how many hours I spent daily on my laptop). I had no way to access the internet and horrors upon horrors I had no way to access my “safe” files of writing. Oh my files were safe all right! Safely tucked into the digital insides of my laptop with no way to get to them as long as my computer would not start. And no, I was not smart enough to make a backup of my files. So, there I was, lost with no way back except to get another laptop and start over.
Thank goodness the IT guy at my work was able to save my files from my hard drive and install them on my new laptop. All was not lost! I was up and running on the internet and happily wordprocessing again. I still had all my writings available to me and all was well. That is until this second laptop crashed and died.
Did I learn my lesson the first time. Nope! I didn’t! I did not backup my files so when computer death came again I was completely out of luck. I was so out of luck this time even my hard drive could not give me access to my writing files. However, even tough I did not backup my files on a flash drive I had at least made a print out of every one of my writings which filled a thick binder. I had not lost my writings after all. They were in physical form and not digital. Again, I was content.
Fast forward to moving day. I packed up my writing binders where I could keep them with me as the moving guys loaded all my furniture and belongings to be stored for a couple of months. I safely put my binders in the cab of the moving truck and off we went to the storage place. Little did I know that my binders would get lost never for me to see again. My writings were gone. Everything I had written in the way of poems and short stories for the last 10 years was gone.
I moved on. There was nothing I could do. My only consolation was that I guess I no longer needed my writings I had tried so hard to keep with me. I moved on and started over. Only this time my decision to start writing again was made not only from a creative decision it was made from a very practical one as well. I was going to start a blog and my blog was going to be the “safety deposit box” that held my work. OK! I now knew what I was going to do for the safety of my writing, but, I didn’t have a clue as to where or how I would start a Blog. Enter WordPress.
I had learned about WordPress when I lived in San Jose, California. At that time I worked on developing a WordPress Blog with a friend of mine for her environmental concerns about Ecuador. I was super impressed with WordPress. So, when I moved here to Las Cruces, New Mexico with the loss of my writings still stinging me I decided to try out WordPress for myself.
Voila! I soon had a Blog up and running. (For a Luddite like me that is quite a feat). I was thrilled because not only was I writing again I was also “collecting” my writings. I was collecting my writings to never be lost again. I realized that no matter what happened to my computer or computers (in case I have to get another if this current one does the “dive”) my writings would always be safe. With a Blog I have a way to store my writings safely. Through this Content Management System (CMS) I will always have access to what I write. I am tremendously happy that my Blog has my back and that my writings have their own “security blanket” located on the world-wide web. This need for a “security blanket” was definitely my main reason for starting and writing my Blog. Having a space for journaling is important as well and sharing with people who come to my Blog is a great extra for me.
What a relief this is!!!!!! What a blessing!
Oh, how I would like to write about this wonderful experience or that awesome one. But, instead I’m going to write about how two days last week just when I thought that life couldn’t be any better the bottom sort of fell out. My Gosh, life is pretty amazing.
The first day, all was going along merrily. I was working on my post, “The Journey Of My Vintage Navajo Necklace Takes Me To Old Mesilla”. Then all of a sudden my internet connection went dead. I spent over an hour trying to figure out what was wrong with my computer when I finally gave up. I don’t know why, but, when there is something wrong with my internet connection I always go into “fix-it” mode with my computer. I usually go into this “fix-it” mode because invariably the problem is with a glitch in my computer. So, of course this time I figured the problem was going to be computer related. Nope, I was completely off base. Everything that I tried to “fix” on my computer did not fix the problem. Try as I might I just could not get a solid connection to the internet. I finally gave up and shut down my computer and then I found out that it was not my computer that was having problems it was the ISP (internet service provider) that was offline. At that point there was nothing I COULD do.
When it is my computer that is having the problem even with my limited technology ability I can usually figure out the problem and correct it so that I can continue on my computing way. Only this time I wasn’t able to fix the problem, especially when I finally discovered the reason I was sans internet was due to the ISP being down. The problem was completely out of my control and hands. So, I had to resign myself to spending the rest of my afternoon without being able to do anything online. At first, I was frustrated then as I realized that my being frustrated would not change the situation I R-E-L-A-X-E-D. I gave over to the higher power. I surrendered, relaxed, breathed deeply and had a very enjoyable and stress free rest of the afternoon.
That night as I looked back on my day it became very clear to me that if I had let my frustration about losing the internet run me I would have been miserable the rest of the day. It also became very clear that I had lived an example of letting go and letting be and letting God. I smiled as I drifted off to sleep. For, just a silly experience of losing my internet became truly a further great eye-opening and heart-opening education for me in the greater understanding of surrendering and letting go.
The next opportunity I had in this letting go process was just a few days later when I walked into the kitchen and there on the floor was a puddle of water. At first I thought one of the cats had peed on the floor. I know the cats would not do that but that was the only explanation that made sense to me until something told me to investigate further. No, it wasn’t because a kitty cat peed it was because the dishwasher had peed. The dishwasher was leaking water all over the kitchen floor and the water was running into the family room like a rushing river. Needless to say I sprung into action. I grabbed paper towels to sop up the rushing water and to make a dam against the onslaught of the rushing dishwasher river. (tile floors instead of carpet is definitely a lifesaver.) With a paper towel dam in place I quickly dashed to the linen closet and grabbed big thick towels to take care of the standing water.
It was a good idea I got the thick big towels because the problem was not just a little leak. Apparently, the water was not draining from the bottom of the dishwasher and it was seeping out through the dishwasher door. I was happy I had figured out where the water was coming from. The river on the kitchen and family room floor was sopped up by the towels and now I could turn my attention to bailing out the inside of the dishwasher. As I was bailing it occurred to me the dishwasher had not been run for several days and the last time it was run it worked fine.
I first discovered the leak on the floor around 9:30 in the morning and by the time I sopped up the rushing river on the floor and bailed out the dishwasher it was close to noon. But, I was happy because the water was gone. Or so I thought. Within an hour there was another river of rushing water on the floor and the water culprit was dripping as fast as it could from the unhappy dishwasher. I had been smart and left dams of towels on the floor just “in case” the water came back. I opened the dishwasher door and once again there was standing water inside. I again sopped up the water from the kitchen and family room floors and bailed out the dishwasher. By now it was past 3:00 in the afternoon. I had spent almost my entire day wrestling with this leaking water problem that was continually coming back. I realized I could sop up and bail but that was not going to stop the leaking problem. I now called for help and by 5:00 the problem was stopped.
Ok, the leaking water problem was solved but, my entire day and especially my afternoon time I spend writing was gone. My day had turned upside down. As I was sopping up the river of leaking water earlier in the morning I said to myself “This is what happens in life.” Yep, life is full of these little surprises. You wake up thinking all is going ok and then, out of the blue (astrologically speaking this was definitely a Uranus happening moment.) a river of leaking water happens and the next thing you know is your whole day disappears from you as you sop up water and bail. All I could do was laugh at the situation. So, I laughed in between sopping, bailing and thinking about how this is what happens in life. Yep, laughing certainly helped me to not go into frustration mode. Laughing also helped me to realize this was yet another example of me needing to surrender. Because, once again, everything that happened was not as I had planned for my day. After I took care of everything I could at last sit down and I treated myself to some yummy chocolate. Ahhh! Everything was now better.
There is nothing better than letting go and letting God and of course, not to mention, celebrating with yummy chocolate how I managed a chaotic day.
These two unexpected experiences have set the tone for me of relaxing into a stress free existence at least for now anyway and until the next “life happens” event comes along.